will the real han shaw please stand up?

lately my life has been this weird, surreal combination of spontaneous success and not ideal timing. it’s like the best thing has happened but i wasn’t ready for it to happen.

i recently took a job working for this AMAZING small business in downtown Durham. i have loved it. the people, the atmosphere, the clients. everything about this place was fantastic and i had every intention of spending a few years there before attempting to go back to school. but, out of nowhere, i get this even more AMAZING job offer that i never, ever expected. especially not now when i feel so young and so inexperienced. but it happened and i took the offer and i start in less than two weeks.

i don’t think it’s hit me yet. but i did just take a break from studying Google Analytics to write this so that must mean it’s really happening. for the first time ever, i am leaving a job not because i want something better but because something better wants me.

whoa.

this is so surreal to me because this is exactly what my dad told me would happen. i needed to pay my dues. i had to work in positions that i didn’t completely enjoy or that didn’t truly challenge me in order to find something that did. i had to live paycheck to paycheck, still occasionally eating ramen and whatever else hadn’t expired in my kitchen.

yeah, sometimes it sucked. i don’t feel like a college grad. i don’t have a lot of savings. i’ve barely traveled. i haven’t been on a vacation in forever. i work every weekend. i’m never off at 5. i wasn’t feeling like i had much to be proud of since last May.

but it was worth it because now i do. NOW i can start my journey through adulthood (ugh i just threw up a little). i can really start to save money and still pay all my bills. i can meet up with friends for happy hour. i can go on weekend trips with my boyfriend. i can make doctor and dentist appointments like most people. i’m moving into my first apartment that will be all mine. i have my own car. i’m my own person. it feels so wonderful.

now i’m not saying that a new job has suddenly given me all of this. but i will say it’s given me a stronger sense of independence and self-confidence. i want to go into this job and kick some serious ass. i’ll work late nights. i’ll check emails at home. i’ll do everything i need to and more because, just like all those ramen nights, it’ll be worth it in the end.

here’s to the end of one adventure and the start of a new one.

here’s to the real han shaw.

 

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