lately my life has been this weird, surreal combination of spontaneous success and not ideal timing. it’s like the best thing has happened but i wasn’t ready for it to happen.
i recently took a job working for this AMAZING small business in downtown Durham. i have loved it. the people, the atmosphere, the clients. everything about this place was fantastic and i had every intention of spending a few years there before attempting to go back to school. but, out of nowhere, i get this even more AMAZING job offer that i never, ever expected. especially not now when i feel so young and so inexperienced. but it happened and i took the offer and i start in less than two weeks.
i don’t think it’s hit me yet. but i did just take a break from studying Google Analytics to write this so that must mean it’s really happening. for the first time ever, i am leaving a job not because i want something better but because something better wants me.
this is so surreal to me because this is exactly what my dad told me would happen. i needed to pay my dues. i had to work in positions that i didn’t completely enjoy or that didn’t truly challenge me in order to find something that did. i had to live paycheck to paycheck, still occasionally eating ramen and whatever else hadn’t expired in my kitchen.
yeah, sometimes it sucked. i don’t feel like a college grad. i don’t have a lot of savings. i’ve barely traveled. i haven’t been on a vacation in forever. i work every weekend. i’m never off at 5. i wasn’t feeling like i had much to be proud of since last May.
but it was worth it because now i do. NOW i can start my journey through adulthood (ugh i just threw up a little). i can really start to save money and still pay all my bills. i can meet up with friends for happy hour. i can go on weekend trips with my boyfriend. i can make doctor and dentist appointments like most people. i’m moving into my first apartment that will be all mine. i have my own car. i’m my own person. it feels so wonderful.
now i’m not saying that a new job has suddenly given me all of this. but i will say it’s given me a stronger sense of independence and self-confidence. i want to go into this job and kick some serious ass. i’ll work late nights. i’ll check emails at home. i’ll do everything i need to and more because, just like all those ramen nights, it’ll be worth it in the end.
here’s to the end of one adventure and the start of a new one.
here’s to the real han shaw.